After The Borg
by spones
Summary: The nightmares never really went away after he came back


He smiled as he looked out of the window, muttering to himself under his breath.

"Our galaxy.." he began "is a wholly remarkable thing. We are not alone, never have been alone and never will be alone. No-one is ever alone in these stars. "

Ever since his encounter with the Borg, he had struggled with how he really felt. All of the emotions, all of the hurt he had felt, the pure fear he felt that gripped him on a nightly basis he never really showed to his crew, told them how he truly felt. On his senior officers knew a little, hell Beverly had made him attend all those sessions with Deanna but he had simply 'discharged' himself from her care. Damn it he was the captain, they hadn't been there when they took away everything that made Jean Luc Picard was stolen from him. The nightmares plagued him every night and they still came , a year on. Maybe he shouldn't have stopped going to those sessions but after every single one he lied in bed paralyzed with fear, to scared that they would come again and again and again. His sleep deprivation had been getting worse and worse but he would never show a sign of weakness, that he needed any assistance at all but he knew, deep down that he needed help. But he was damned if he was going to ask for it. Being locutus made him weak and he would never, ever show that weakness. So he spent his nights on the bridge, in his chair watching the stars drift by as the ship slowly floated past the stars. And that was how Beverly found him, one night staring into space.

"Oh Jean Luc" sighed ,as she caught him that night. That took him by surprise. He thought no one would be checking up on him anymore.

"I'm on the nightshift" she simply said, taking the words out of his mouth. "And you mister" she sighed, "are coming with me. To bed"

He sighed, "Beverly", he began, "I don't need a mother hen. I just want to stay here and watch the stars on my bridge."

"Well then captain" she smiled softly," at least let me get you some tea then , I don't know the last time you ate but I sure as hell know you haven't had a good cup of tea in a good long while."

He smiled up at her soft sweet face, how he could ever be scared of that caring, gentle loving exterior. He nodded, and she slowly wandered over to the replicator and whispered "Two earl greys-hot." Carrying the drinks back to her captain and her friend they sat and sipped in silence, eyes trailing over the bridge, glancing at each other in companionable silence.

Jean Luc quietly sipped his tea smiling at Beverly, for he knew she just wanted to help him and care for him. As he drank slowly with his close friend, he began to notice something really wasn't right. I mean he was tired; really tired but this was something different. He simply couldn't keep his eyes open and that was how they took him damn it why couldn't he stay awake now?

"Beverly?", his panicked eyes darted round to stare at her, she should know why doesn't she know?

"Jean luc" she began, as his eyes begun to droop, "You know what I put in there sweetheart and I am so sorry but you need to sleep. I know it's hard but in the morning things will look better. I promise."

"Beverly" he really was staring at her now, eyes sleepy but so , so with so much fear, the fear that broke the heart and numbed the soul of everyone close, "I….I… can't you know I can't sleep they'd take me and you couldn't reach me and I'd hurt more people and I…" He gabbled, his body slowly giving into the sedative.

The Dr sighed, and climbed over to sit on the arm of the captain's chair, rubbing his back and shoulders to comfort him, like she did for Wesley after his father had gone. She smiled softly, watching as his whole body was beginning to sag.

"Jean luc you would never loose me, ever. And you will never be lost. We are all here for you. Riker, Deanna, Worf, everyone on this ship is you family and…"

She was cut off by the small thud her captain made, she noticed that he had finally given in to the sedative and his head was resting in his lap. She quietly called Alysa to bring a stretcher up and carried on rubbing his back, wondering how she could help him through the next few days. She didn't want to think about what his reaction would be tomorrow, but she resolved quietly to herself that whatever it took, however long it took she would be there. She had to.

"Dr…" came a whisper from Alysa, who was holding onto a stretcher. She could be trusted thought Beverly to herself, as she came over and helped lift the captain on. The two gave an unspoken nod of trust as Beverly took the stretcher and began to walk towards the captain's room. She knew Alysa would never dream of mentioning what she had seen to the eager ears of the crew. They both cared, and as Beverly walked towards his room, his cocoon.

It was a short walk but eerily quiet at that. _Night shift,_ her mind supplied as she used her medical override to access the living quarters. She gently picked up the captain and carried his sleeping form to the bed. He really was too light she sighed, gently placing him on the bed and tucking him with the thin regulation covers that just seemed to make him seem scared than he already did.

She knew eating disorders were common after trauma, and to be honest he had gone through one heck of a trauma. The Borg had stolen everything from him that he treasured so dear and she just had to work out how to pick up the pieces before he became unreachable.

As she turned off the light to let him sleep in peace, she knew that wouldn't happen. He had been taken from her once and she was damned if that was going to happen again.

Because, to be quite frank a certain Dr really can be quite determined when needs be.

**Hi ! Thank you so much for reading and please let me know if there are any mistakes or bits that you think I should change. I'd also love to know if you think this should be a multi chapter story or left as a one chapter thing.**

**Thank you all x**


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